Ask Me #KidsDeserveIt

The closer we get to Spring it seems like the shorter our fuses get and the more rambunctious and misbehaving our kids become.

As a classroom teacher I loved having "those kids".  The ones that the teacher from the year before would warn you about.  The ones who pushed every single button you have, and those you didn't even know you had.  The ones who scream, who curse, who run, who say they hate you.  Those are "my kids".  Those are the ones I'm drawn to.

As teachers, we all have some of "those kids" in our class every year.  What I've learned though is that often we can let our own emotions over take us and the way we interact with students.

Time and time again, I've watched a teacher get upset with a child over a choice the child made.  The teacher would yell, or tell them they were a liar or loser, or send them out in the hall without another thought, or make them walk laps at recess, or sit at lunch detention, or more.  But sometimes, the piece I've seen missing has been this....actually talking with the child.

We work with kids who don't know how to control their emotions.  With kids who are taught at home that you scream back at someone when you're upset with them, that you shut down when someone is yelling at you so you can "hide" from the yelling, that you use your fists instead of your words, and more.

Oh how quickly we forget that.  Yes, we teach them otherwise at school.  We teach them school expectations. But they're children.  Those lessons are never "one and done" or even "twenty and done" lessons.  They are lessons we must teach again and again.

I worked with quite a few children this week in my office.  And this week, every single child that was brought to me, I sat down with the, spoke in a calm and quiet voice, and asked them what happened. Asked them to tell me their story.

And do you know what some of them said?

- This morning my mom told me I was her stupid child.  It made me so upset that all day I've been angry at everyone and can't figure out how not to be angry.

- He said something about my dad.  My dad is in the hospital and I haven't seen him in 3 days, so when he said that, all I could see was red.

- Yes, I made a bad decisions, but when my teacher saw, she screamed at me and told me she was sick of my behavior and brought me up here. She didn't even give me a chance to tell her I was sorry and that I knew better and wasn't thinking.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Will kids frustrate us? Yes!  Will they lie, manipulate, get angry, and disappoint us? HECK YES!

So what can we do?  We only have on choice.  We have to be the adult in the situation.  We have to put our own emotions away and stop and talk to them.  Not every poor choice from a child HAS to have a consequence.  Many times you can talk to a child and see they understand their choice, and then move on with the day!

I mean, come on, look at who we the kids who have lunch detention and are walking laps at recess?  If it's the same kids, it clearly isn't working as a consequence.

Will having a conversation with a child fix the problem overnight? No. But it's our jobs as educators to grow every part of a child. And getting angry at them and sending them straight to the office before you have even had an opportunity to calmly talks to them, destroys your relationship with that child because they see you as the one who's not really in charge, the office is.

Let's take time this week to stop and talk to our students.

Destructive Reading & Writing #KidsDeserveIt

This post was co-written with Travis Crowder.

You can follow him on Twitter HERE or his own blog HERE.

We’ve all been there at one point or another….that moment where a child needs a consequence and as educators we jump straight to “write this sentence 100 times” or “sit there and read your book in silence for 30 minutes”.  It’s an easy consequence.  But both of us have come to understand and realize that it truly isn’t what’s best for the child.

You see, when you make reading or writing a form of punishment you create a sense of dislike for those subject matters.  You create students whose memories of writing are not some kind of joyus experience of self-expression but instead a dreaded experience of annoyance, frustration, and punishment.  You create readers who dislike reading because of the memories of being forced to read because they were in trouble.

From Todd:

As the principal of an elementary campus, we’ve done after school detention as a form of punishment for students.  The whole concept of “you wasted your class time with poor choices, so I’m going to waste your time after school”.  When we started this consequence, we always had them write sentences.  For whatever reason we had this notion that making a child write “I will make better choices” would actually influence them on a deeper level.  What were we thinking!?!?

After having some of my writing teachers come to me concerned that this consequence was building a dislike for writing in students, I took a step back to reflect.  And those teachers were so right.  We WERE building an atmosphere of “writing = punishment”.  As a teacher I even remember “making” students read when the class was behaving poorly.

I guess it’s like they say, the first step to moving forward is understanding.  After realizing what we were doing to our students I knew I had to figure something else out as a punishment.

That’s when we moved to digging to the heart of the issues.  Now our after school detention is a place of meditation and mediation.  We have kids stop, evaluate, and think through their choices.  We work with them on understanding their emotions and how to react in situations.  And you know what? Our discipline has decreased.  It never decreased with the sentence writing.

From Travis:

I have been passionate about reading and writing since childhood, and one of my goals, as an educator, is to build the same passion for those subjects in my students.  I want them to see reading as a lifestyle, writing as a means of expression, and watch them grow to love the artistry of both.  A rich reading and writing life will carry our students far in life, providing them with skills that will sustain them academically.  While I have them, I want the year to be full of rewarding experiences, both in their reading and writing lives.  There is an exquisite joy when a self-proclaimed non-reader falls in love with a book; when a student who has despised language arts writes a thoughtful poem related to a book he has read; and when hyperactive teenagers silence each other as they prepare for independent reading during class.  These are noteworthy, indelible moments, and I treasure them deeply.

Not long ago, I found myself engaged in a conversation with several co-workers, both planning a reward day for their classes.  One teacher had told her students that “if they were not eligible to participate in the reward, they would be going into another classroom and would have to read.”  Those words stung me.  If not participating in the reward, they would be reading, implying that reading was a punishment.  I mentioned to this teacher that a room devoted to reading would be a reward for many young people, and it was wrong to vilify books by representing them as activities for punishment.  The teacher chuckled and walked from the room.  

I structure my classes to give students time to write and read every day, experimenting with different genres and mentor texts that will guide them to be better readers and writers.  I always use positive language when I discuss the act of reading because I know that my attitude will affect my students’.  I never issue punishments for a refusal to read or when I notice that students are not reading outside of class.  When I note those behaviors, I know a conversation is necessary, and I target those students during independent reading time.  I want to know why they aren’t reading, if the book is not interesting to them, if they are confused by the events in the book, if the characters or situations do not reflect their interests, and so on.  I have never (*knocks on wood*) been unable to get a student invested in a book after such a conversation.  It takes some work, but it is well worth the time spent in discussion with the student.     

My classes are structured in a way to give students time to read, study, craft, and share.  I devote a specific 20-minute space of time each day to independent reading.  Students have a chance to read something of interest to them, most of them choosing something from my classroom library.  Afterward, we spend time sharing what we read, writing about something that resonated with us, or picking our favorite scenes and describing them.  In conferences, I ask students to think about books they have loved, knowing that the tone associated with the word love is one of warmth and comfort.  That’s what I want students to experience when they read books they adore.  This is book love.   

Unfortunately, we have heard the conversations many times from educators about the tendency to engage students in reading and writing as a punitive measure.  Some students have learned to loathe any kind of reading and writing because these beautiful activities have been reduced to worksheets and comprehension exercises.  When we use language that belittles the act of reading, we do a disservice to our kids.  We showcase, with our words, how little we value literature and written expression, and we do so to the detriment of the learning process.  No student will develop a love of books and writing if we represent them this way.     

As educators it is our responsibility to truly build a love of learning within our students.  To have them fall in love with books, dive deep into equations, explore scientific experiments, express themselves and their learning through writing, walk through history lessons, and so much more.  We want students to yearn for books, to establish reading habits that take them beyond the classroom.  Learning to love education stems from developing a love of reading, and as teachers, as educators, and as thinkers, we have a responsibility to engage our students with fascinating books, where we can see them fall in love with books.  

But that love of learning can never be built if we as educators take the easy way out and use any form of education as a punishment.  We’ll lose our students, one by one, if we destroy any love they could develop for these subjects.  What’s truly important is getting to the heart of the issue.  And you can only do that by truly connecting with others and learning who they really are.

8 Educators Worth Following on Twitter #KidsDeserveIt

Every so often I love to write a post sharing with you some people on social media who have been inspiring me.  I am connected with, and inspired by, so many!  So this is in NO WAY the complete list!  But these are a few that I've come to find in the last month or so who are doing some incredible work!  So connect with them, follow them, and let's learn together!

Eli Casaus

Eli is an Elementary administrator in New Mexico.  I love Eli's passion for education and his tireless work to do what's best for kids. Eli is great at pushing your thinking, encouraging others, and really looking at things with a unique perspective.  Eli is never one to let any excuses get in the way of doing what's best for kids. I have learned so much from Eli in the short time I've been connected with him and he pushes me to grow more every day!

Travis Crowder

Travis is a middle school teacher in North Carolina.  Travis is one of the most incredible writers I've ever met.  His posts always contain such depth, information, and passion.  He is an avid reader, but even more so he's an advocate for all children.  He is incredibly giving of his time to kids and other educators and is always up-lifting.  Travis has really pushed my thinking about independent reading, poetry, and student led projects.

Onica Mayers

Onica is an Elementary principal in Texas.  I absolutely love Onica's energy and passion.  She is always encouraging her staff and pushing herself to be better.  She is outgoing and incredibly focused.  I have loved following Onica (and stealing a few of her ideas along the way!)

Serjio Medina

Serjio is 4th grade Teacher in Texas.  I love Serjio's ideas that he pushes into the classroom with his students.  Serjio is great at sharing his learning (in person and online) and is really passionate on providing a high quality education to every student regardless of their backgrounds.

Jorge Ortiz

Jorge is a 3rd grade teacher in Texas.  I have been blown away by Jorge's creativity and ideas.  He works tirelessly to provide new and exciting ideas for his students. I am thankful there are leaders like Jorge who are sharing their ideas online so that I can keep passing them along to my teachers.  

Catherine Williams

Catherine is a teacher in Australia.  I have absolutely loved following Catherine's tweets and seeing the work she's doing.  Catherine is super encouraging and someone who is always working to do better for her students and school.  She's an avid learner and is active on social media and connecting with others.

Crystal Williams

Crystal is a Math Specialist in North Carolina.  I love the things that Crystal shares on social media and how she's always highlighting the work of others.  She is full of energy and incredibly passionate.  She shares great ideas and always has me wanting to be and do better!

Robert Runcie

Robert is a Superintendent in Florida.  I love Robert's passion for showing of his students and schools.  He is super positive and encouraging and one who is a great resource of tons of ideas shared through his twitter!

So there ya go! Just a few more people to check out on social media that you may or may not have already been connected with!

Look Down #KidsDeserveIt

This week has been a week of deep reflection for me.  Every one of us goes through periods where we doubt our gifts, where we wonder if the place we find ourselves in is the place we're best suited.  And for whatever reason I've always felt that February is by far the most difficult month of the school year.  It's that period where we're over the Christmas Break honeymoon, spring break looms around the corner but so does testing, and the kids (and adults) can sometimes act like it's their first time ever in a school setting.

It wears on us, it tears us apart.  I know I am so blessed to work at a campus with 81 staff members.  I work hard to connect with each of them, to spend time in each of their spaces.  I know I could do it better, we always could.  I know I am blessed to work at a campus with over 750 students.  I work hard to get to know each of them, to spend some face to face time connecting with each of them.  I know I could do better, I always can.

I was informed in late December and early January, by several staff, that this year they felt under appreciated.  They felt like I could be doing a better job to bring us all together.  That I could do much better at providing feedback.  That I could be more encouraging.  That I could find more ways to recognize more staff.  And you know what? They were right.  And that kind of feedback keeps me growing.  It led to me (and the rest of the admin team) sending emails every time we do a 10-15 min walkthrough to give more consistent feedback.  It led to the creation of a weekly workout, weekly bible study, and a monthly staff get together.  And it's helped me adjust other ideas I've had too.

When I took a position as a principal, I had high hopes.  I wanted to be the best there ever was.  And though I am not anywhere near where I want to be, I still work at it.  I look at Webb and the growth we've seen over the last two years.  The decrease in ISS/OSS placements, the increase in males being involved on campus, the increase in love for reading, the staff retention, and more.  I'm so proud of our work.  Of the work everyone has done, because this is by NO means a reflection of me or my leadership.  Everything this campus accomplishes is because of the hard work they all put in.

The one thing I never expected when taking a principal position was the constant barrage of anger, disappointment, and frustration.  I want to be very careful how I express this because I LOVE my job and am not complaining by any means.  One thing I never knew as a teacher, that I now know as a principal, is that every day no matter how scheduled and organized I am, is filled with unexpectedness.  On a daily basis I have several parents who tell me how I am the worst leader, I have staff who come in to tell me what I need to fix and how I should be doing things better, I have upper administration who reprimand me for making a decision I felt was best for kids, I have students who are hurt and lashing out, I have the state asking me to do more or making sure we're on the right track, and more.

I look at the work left to do before me and at times it feels overwhelming.  It feels too much. I feel I'm not qualified enough, that someone could do it better.  That someone else should be doing my job.

It's one of the reasons I really don't like winning awards or being recognized for things.  I know I am not "the best".  I know I have a lot of work to do to even be half of what I want to be.

I am always looking at growth.  I push all of my team to keep growing and trying.  I see the hard work they're putting in and I'm blown away every day that I get to even share the same building space as them.  They are the game changers, they are the rockstars, and I am the one who is here just to clear the path for them and carry some of their load so they can shine brighter.

I don't share this story as a "woe is me" moment.  I share this to let you know that every one of us deals with doubt.  I love my school so much and want to create the best environment for these kids because they deserve it.  They have enough going wrong in many of their lives that they deserve to come into a building filled with love and the best education ever.

So when it seems too much, when you wonder if you were meant for this, take a moment to look down. Look down into the eyes of the children we serve every day. And remember, you may be the only adult in their life who shows up every day for them.

Read Me A Story #KidsDeserveIt

If you take just a minute to turn on the television or pull up a news article, you are bombarded with news and information.  Much of which has become a stream of gasp-inducing executive orders, mean-spirited Tweets/Facebook posts, or worse.

One of my favorite things about being a principal is the opportunity to go into classrooms and read stories.  There is nothing better than walking into a classroom and having a kindergarten student tug on my pants leg and ask me, "Mr Nesloney will you read me a story?".  

And I've read stories to classrooms since my first year as a Principal.  A few months ago, I wrote an article for Scholastic's Reader Leader Blog called "She Looked Like Me".  That post came from a new season of my life I had entered.  A season where now I feel so much more educated about providing opportunities for children to read and have stories read to them that include characters and storylines that are personal to them.  No longer do I ignorantly read stories that include predominantly white and/or male characters.

I know stories teach empathy, understanding, and acceptance. Stories can teach you how to deal with your emotions, handle difficult circumstances, and remind you that you're not alone.  And as a Principal I know the importance it is to introduce children to those stories.  And I'm not just talking elementary aged children either.  High School students are EQUALLY as important!

The month of January I read to every PreK-5th Grade classroom and my Life Skills classes.  But I didn't just choose a story randomly off my shelf.  A month or so ago I was able to visit an incredible bookstore in Minnesota.  Instead of having all the picture books organized on one large shelf, it had shelves that were sorted by what country the author or story was from.  And the books were fantastically eye opening.  The distinct artistic and storyline differences.  The concepts, cultures, characters were vibrant and reflective of people from all over the world.

So I chose a variety of stories. I chose books from all over the world and spent way too much money. But I knew it'd be worth it.

This month I read "Seven Blind Mice" written and illustrated by Ed Young to all of my PreK and Life Skills classes.  A simple story of what seven blind mice THINK they are encountering at their pond.  Ed Young is a Chinese born illustrator and author and his story is filled with beautiful pictures and brief, but powerful story about understanding the whole picture before you make an assumption.

Then I read "My Name is Yoon" written by Helen Recorvits and illustrated by Gabi Swiatkowska to my Kinder-5th grade classes. Gabi is a Polish born artist and Helen's parents were immigrants.  "My Name is Yoon" is a WONDERFUL story of a little Korean girl just moving to America and trying to find her place in an English filled world where she feels alone and can't stand the English version of her name.

I read the stories to the children.  We talked about what they meant, the characters, the lessons.  Did it change their lives? Maybe not.  But what it did do was introduce them to characters that didn't look exactly like them, that didn't sound like them, or necessarily think like them.

Building empathy in children is about letting them see we all go through different things and handle things differently, but in the end we are so very much alike.

We live in a world where people feel more bold than ever before to scream out "illegal", or "learn english!" or "go back where you came from".  A world where 6 year olds stop me in the hall and ask if mommy will be here today to pick her up or if she is going to be deported before she gets home.  A world where a 4th grader stands up and says "I am more than the gangs and drugs you see on my streets".  A world where a 3rd grade girl asks me "Girls can do that too, right?".

As educators we can't waste a moment.  We must use books to teach stories and introduce children to a vast variety of characters and experiences.  Our future depends on it.

Go through your classroom books, seek to diversify and add new stories, and when that child looks up at you and says "will you read me a story?", find a story that will only add to their experiences.  It's easier than you think, but it will take an effort on all of us.

**What are some of your favorite stories to use in class? Share in the comments below!